Archive for May, 2015

BPG-Jesus shows his wounds to Thomas, William Hole 112533l8sizhe97p

I was thinking of Mary and Jesus– how heart wrenching it was for her to see her Son die so horribly and naked on the cross… stripped of any dignity as though He were an animal.. just as they killed all the lower life criminals of that time period.     The verse in the Psalms of David that cry out, “I am a worm and no longer a man” rang in my ears as I thought on this., because the way they hung Jesus and most of those being crucified were as though they were just slabs of naked meat.  .. no dignity whatsoever.   And Jesus was also being spat on , mocked and jeered at while this was happening to Him and while His mother and John watched in grief at the one Who loved them and Whom they loved die the undeserved death of the worst hardened criminals.

Just days before, Mary of Bethany broke an alabaster flask to anoint Jesus’s body ahead of His funeral.. knowing in her spirit that He would be going to Jerusalem to die not long from then.   When she broke that flask, the expensive fragrant spikenard oil filled the entire room with it’s aroma.  Days later, Jesus would become that Alabaster flask broken before men, only for the sweet fragrance of His love and inner beauty to fill the atmosphere and affect all those with hearts open to receive .    Even the Roman Centurian picked up on our Lord’s fragrance.   “Surely this man was just;  surely He was the son of God”, he said noticing that the more Jesus was being  maligned and shown contempt, the more love He expressed to others in spite of that He was being treated like despised vermin.  “Father, Forgive them” was what He cried out to the Father in love as the Centurian marvelled.  The more they broke Him, the more His fragrance filled the air.  Yes, Jesus was the Alabaster Flask , broken for us.


The Two Joseph’s and Jesus

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While reading Max Lucado’s book, “This is Love”, the Holy Spirit impressed upon me something I never had considered before.  The significance of Joseph, his earthly father and Joseph of Arimithea, one of Isreal’s religious leaders or “fathers”.

One led a simple materially poor life and was only able to provide a livestock shelter for Mary upon Jesus’s birth.   The other Joseph who came later in Jesus’s life , was comfortably well-off, yet out of his love and reverence for Jesus, was able to offer Him a garden tomb for a rich man with 75 lb.’s of costly ointment- the amount used for anointing royalty. Joseph of Arimithea secretly realized Jesus was more than just some ordinary prophet.. He is the king of all Kings.  the Number 75 is significant too.  7 + 5 = 12.. and the number twelve is an apostolic number representing not just disciples, but apostles of Jesus.  Apostles are those who are called out from even disciples .. to a more closer union with their Lord.   Joseph of Arimithea was Jesus’s secret apostle who manifested himself after Jesus fulfilled His Father’s Will of sacrifice for mankind.   Joseph, Jesus’s father, was also a secret “apostle” of Jesus in a sense..  he was enlightened by God as to who Jesus was/is as was Joseph of Arimithea.  Both were quiet men and both secretly were called out from amongst their religious peers.

Joseph who was Jesus’s earthly Father stood with Mary and supported her as she carried Jesus within her.. and believe me, Probably every relative (except for Elizabeth and her husband) and every townsperson held Mary in contempt for assuming she had premarital sex, and that she sinned against God and against Joseph.  No doubt there were snide comments of self-righteous indignation against her… She should be stoned, etc.

Joseph was with her as she gave birth to Jesus (though perhaps remained outside as Hebrew men were not permitted to observe their wives giving birth).  Joseph of Arimithea was with Mary as they buried Jesus.   Both Joseph’s laid Him on a cold, rectangular-shaped stone, one a feeding trough in a manger, the other a burial slab in a tomb. But, the feeding trough is reflective of the fact that Jesus is the Bread that came down from Heaven to feed us and our Lord’s blood was shed and body broken for us as well..

No doubt Joseph was aware of the slander going on amongst his fellow Pharisees after learning of Mary of Magdala’s love offering to Jesus of oil she poured on His feet to wipe with her tears.   No doubt Joseph was touched by this action of love  but said nothing amongst those who were outraged against this “heresy”.  He seized his opportunity to anoint His Lord as well.. at the last moment before Jesus was buried.  After Jesus’s burial,  something selfish and fearful within Joseph of Arimithea also died.   The Holy Spirit makes me sense that he found a new bravery for serving the Lord than before.  He no longer cared what his peers thought of him or if He’d be excommunicated from the temple.   When Mary gave birth to Jesus, Joseph was full of joy.  When Joseph of Arimithea met the resurrected Christ… He also was full of joy and no doubt, fell at our Lord’s feet in worship.     One day, if we are faithful to Jesus, we will meet these two Joseph’s in Heaven, and will learn so much more than what blogs like this could ever describe!


The featured image is a clip from the movie, The Passion of Christ.,  and this is one of my favorite scenes.. where Jesus , about to be roughly seized and taken into custody,  gently heals the ear of the high priest’s guard whom Peter had used his sword against.    The actor, Ben Caveziel, sincerely portrays the demeanor of Jesus- His gentleness and compassion even toward His enemies who hated Him.   Ben relayed in an interview how he had asked Jesus to guide him in how to portray Him appropriately, and he actually felt “a Presence” with him through all of the tapings.   This was the Holy Spirit, and you can see the evidence of the Holy Spirit through this actor .. all because He sincerely wanted to glorify Jesus and bring honor to Him in portraying Him.    Ben was open to “hear” the Holy Spirit’s leading in his job of portraying our Lord.

Jesus healed the temple guard’s ear before being seized and bound and roughly taken to the high priests.    He healed His ear and He also wants to heal our ears.. our spiritual ears, so that we may hear Him , discerning good from evil , love from lust,  and His voice from the voices of satan or self.


I had to write you this morning. I had many apocalyptic and God dreams around 2010-2012 after a near death in April of 2010. God had used this to bring me back to Him and draw me away from worldly things. He stripped me of everything. Acting, modeling, girl backup groups, photoshoots, boyfriend, partying, drinking, and He used this time to refine me with fire from heaven! My heart changed, my thoughts changed, my desires and priorities changed and while I was born again since I was 20 I was living for me and life was all about me. The Lord wanted to make it clear its all about HIM. I lost many friends during that time. Life has become lonely as my daughter is grown and I have been single for many years. God has blessed me with two amazing companion kitties, Josie and Sweet Pea. the same company for 28 yrs and in April was given a layoff notice. …….God has limited what I can do and it has slowed me down allot. I have worked for  I believe The Lord has removed me from the daily stress and anxiety grind after my entire life’s career to be able to spend all of my energies for Kingdom purpose……

I have had no dreams from The Lord since around late 2012 and now that my head is clear and my anxiety has been lowered I asked The Lord if there was anything in me that has kept me from hearing from Him in dreams and why I have felt far from Him. God showed me just a week ago a few hidden sins in the deepest corners of my heart that were unsightly to Him. Anger and resentment …feelings of rejection  … The Lord also showed me how He hates it when I talk about people because of my contempt or feelings of rejection. I have repented of these filthy rags and with the Holy Spirit’s help I will overcome. The thing I have not had is LOVE for others. Sometimes I don’t feel well and it makes me short with others…God is showing me these little things He wants cleaned out of my heart.   …..My whole life has become research and study for end times, things of the Bible, prophecy, Israel, and how current events and daily headlines line up with Bible prophecy. Now that I am not working I have hours and hours to study and it is all that is in my heart these days……

So with all my heart I talked to the Lord last night. I told Him I wanted to have purpose and to be involved and if He wanted me to share my dreams online I would but I had to know for absolute sure it was from Him and not from me trying to get attention and glory….its not about me! I told The Lord if He wanted me to do this it was up to Him to give me a dream for confirmation and I would do nothing until He gave me a dream. I have not heard from the Lord in a few years, and have felt far from Him. I gave it up to Him, thanked Him and went about my day.
I woke this morning in absolute amazement that The Lord of all would answer my prayers in such a tangible way and want to use such an imperfect selfish sinner such as me. After nearly 3 years, the same night I repented, and prayed earnestly, He gave me a dream! This is the dream:
I found myself walking out at night in a residential area, I felt I might be in danger and stayed up near the lit homes. I came to a bar where my sister was and was relieved to see her. There were many people there I kind of knew and then a gang of girls started getting angry at me, I grabbed my sweaters (I had about 3 or 4) and tried to leave. They stopped me and I looked for my sister and she was not around. One of the girls kept telling me I did something to her back some years ago. I asked her name and said I don’t even know who you are. She kept insisting and still I said I don’t even know you. If I did anything to you I am sorry but I don’t remember you. I quickly left and found myself walking along the interstate in the dark. People became unruly and crazy and they were driving like they were out of mad max with their headlights blaring coming off the roads into the valley next to the interstate. People were running from something but when I asked one woman she smiled and no idea. Everyone was flooring it into the valley in the dark with high beams coming out of the trees. I thought I should go with them and was suddenly in my sports car but I couldn’t go where they were going because the water was too deep. I tried to drive to the right…too deep and floody. I tried to drive where others sped, but it was too floody for my little sports car. I decided to go back to the road and get on the I-5 South highway. I barely was able to cross the street people were driving out of control. I came to a small shopping area and looked intently for the freeway signs. I had to get out and go through a store. When I came out of the store 4 women who said they were cops who clearly were not dressed as cops stopped me and demanding I pay them. I said when did Macys start charging people to leave their store? I tried to be nice as I was scared and opened my bags and I had delicious bbq’d ribs and gave them each one rib and three of them chowed down. The other wanted money, she was obese and was holding a large see through bag of money. She wanted my cash. I had always kept money stashed and was going to hand her my cash and I woke up.”
~Laura Keri

A vision from the Lord Debra Holland received.. how much Jesus suffered for us..

Heart Dwelling With Jesus

I have always KNOWN that the Shroud of Turin was Yeshua/Jesus but seeing Him alive He looks very different.  I know in my spirit that satan threw EVERYTHING he had at Jesus leading up to and on the cross.  Whatever films we have seen bear NO resemblance to the truth because it would have been demonic warfare and satan was utterly out to destroy Him.  The bible says in the psalms that He did not even look like a man He was so disfigured by His beatings………….too awful to imagine.  In my 40’s I  had a vision of Jesus on the Cross – I was standing at His feet looking up at Him – His face was black with dried blood – His hair hanging down also was full of blood.  I could only see His eyes in the blackness which were so full of pain and ABSOLUTE AGONY…

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Carl_Bloch_Peters_Denial_525This painting by Carl Bloch so accurately depicts Peter’s shame after he denied Jesus three times.  It also so accurately depicts Jesus’s own heartfelt pain and isolation that even His closest disciples were ashamed to be linked with Him when He was to face His “Baptism by Fire”.    The fire Peter was standing near to keep warm was nowhere near as hot as the Hellfire Jesus was experiencing and would be engulfed in totally before He would relinquish His soul to the Father and cry, “It is Finished!”    Peter was near the fire for comfort while Jesus was going THROUGH
“the fire” not for comfort, but to give Himself totally, so that we would have the hope of salvation.    Even though Jesus knew that He would face the abandonment of His closest disciples, it still didn’t hurt any less for  Him.   Suffering would not be suffering if it did not hurt.   He knew Peter would deny Him three times, but there was still real pain in His eyes when Peter and His eyes met in that courtyard after the cock crowed three times.   Peter couldn’t bare that hurt.. it convicted him to the core.


This is movie clip from the Passion of Christ motion picture film directed by Mel Gibson.   We see in this depiction of Jesus His gentle child-like pure compassion in healing this temple guard’s severed ear even though this guard had no concern for Jesus other than to seize Him and take Him to the Pharisees.


This painter perfectly depicts the genuine compassion our Lord feels for us when we run into His arms for comfort or rest after an excruciating trial.    It is not with pleasure that He permits these trials in our lives but like the good Surgeon, He knows what is best for us and what strong medicine is need to bring us to further spiritual growth and sanctification in Him.



This is another movie clip from Mel Gibson’s, The Passion of Christ..  The actor so beautifully depicts Jesus’s torn heart at Judas’s betrayal with that hypocritical “kiss”.    Jesus knew this would happen with Judas, but it hurt Him no less.    Watching an interview of the actor who portrayed Jesus in this movie, he mentioned how he prayed before playing this part of our Lord.  He wanted not that the audience would see him, but that we would see Jesus through  him.  When taping began, he felt a Presence beside him that He knew was Jesus.  The Lord answered his prayer.


This painting so perfectly depicts Mary’s feelings of being “besides herself” in grief seeing that Jesus’s tomb was now empty.  Devastated, she must have thought, “Even in death they won’t give Him a place to lay His head!”     Jesus’s demeanor expresses how He yearns to call out to her, but she must first recognize Him within her heart.   Mary! He cries out with such tenderness, that she recognizes His voice, and His love is met with her joyful response of “Rabonni!”


In this painting we see Jesus so humbly standing at the door while Jairus is clutching his dead daughter’s body in tears.   The expression of grief on Jairus’s face is the same expression Jesus had weeping over Lazarus, and weeping over Jerusalem.. and is the same look of grief over His lost sheep that refuse to respond to Him.


This painting so smolderingly depicts how noone could /can  look Him in the eyes and lie because He can see right through us.  You cannot con Jesus.  The Pharisees tried countless times, but were met with the same penetrating eyes looking directly into theirs.  I can imagine Jesus looking like this directly at those who were accusing the woman caught in adultery.  “He that is without sin  among you, let him cast the first stone.” He said… without batting an eyelash.

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